


Am I the monster?

by KaydeeRawr



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abandonment, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Broken Eren Yeager, Depression, Dominant Eren Yeager, Emotional Manipulation, Jealousy, Lies, M/M, Neglect, Obsessive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Possessive Eren Yeager, Possessive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Romance, Submissive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Yandere Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 14:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9494921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaydeeRawr/pseuds/KaydeeRawr
Summary: At first glance Levi's and Eren's relationship appear perfect, envied by others. After Armin's untimely death. Bruises and scratches become more and more more apparent on Levi's pale skin. They can feel Eren slowly drift away, eyes that hold no emotion and holding brutal underlying violence. However Levi remained loving and forgiving. Mikasa knew what was happening, it didn't take a genius to know that Levi's bruises were caused by Eren's abuse.Levi endures Eren's temper and forceful behavior, but is he really the victim that everyone makes him out to be?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was one shot, wanted try something more angst and dark. But it seems I wrote too much I decided to split it in chapters!

Eren couldn't forget... as he stare down at the lifeless body of his best friend. Armin's eyes no longer held light he once had, as his body lay lifeless at the bottom of the steps. Eren didn't move a muscle, his legs refuse to move to scoop up the blond's cold frame in his arms. His eyes dry, refusing to shed a tear no matter how much he wanted to scream and claw at the ground instead they peer down soullessly like a doll. He can hear the running footsteps of his friends arrive at the scene, pushing past him. Mikasa's eyes widen in horror as she took slow steps towards Armin's body, kneeling down she held his stiff body in her arms and wailed. Marco, Connie, Sasha stepped up to comfort Mikasa, Eren couldn't hear anything, he was unable to hear her cries. Jean stood next to Eren with wide eyes, full of questions.

_"H-Hey Eren what the hell happened?"_

_"....."_

Jean panicked and grabbed onto the brunet's shoulder, almost shouting. _"Eren, seriously snap out of it what happen to Armin!?"_  Eren remained unresponsive, until Jean hands were removed and was pushed to the side. 

_"W-What the hell?!"_

Eren could feel familiar arms wrap around him lovingly, he knew that touch very well. The man that he wanted to spend his entire life with, the man that promised to be his side no matter what. He glanced down slowly to see Levi, holding him gently. Whispering to him that everything was okay, comforting the broken brunet.

_"Eren it's okay, it wasn't your fault.."_

_"You still have me, I'll get you through this"_ said Levi softly, continue to reassure him, it was only then Eren let the tears fall. He hugged his beloved boyfriend tightly, crying into his shoulder and held him like a life line. Levi was the only person who understood him aside from Armin and Mikasa, they were inseparable and he loved him very dearly it hurts. The reason he couldn't react when he saw Armin's lifeless body was because he refused to believe it, it just felt unreal. Losing his best friend that grew up with him since they were kids was just too unbelievable, the fact that he was dead never really processed in his brain. Taking a peek at Levi, taking in his features, his grey-steel with a hint of blue eyes gaze worriedly at his distraught boyfriend. His hand caressing Eren's back gently. But just before Eren could face his fears and turn around, in the corner of his eyes he caught Levi's lips turned upwards into a smile which quickly disappeared as it appeared. He felt his blood run cold, that smile was so hidden and misplaced. He could hear the sirens outside, ringing loudly causing him to forget and turn around.

Eren looked at Armin as he was being held tightly by Mikasa, suddenly his cold blue eyes open and stared unwavering into Eren's dull green ones. Armin's mouth twitched up and whispers _"It's your fault, you did this to me!"_

Eren screamed and felt his hand sting with pain. He could hear soft breathing below, as he gazed down he found Levi on the ground, his beautiful, pale cheek was red as he cupped it. He hurt his lover Levi and he felt absolutely nothing. He had forgotten, the pleasant feeling of holding his small frame against his chest, whispering to each other softly and lovingly, none of those things seemed to matter anymore. Once gazing at his boyfriend with affection, was now replaced with relentless anger and unforgiveness. 

 _"Eren?"_ Levi whimpered. Eren continued to look down at Levi with cold, cold eyes. He approached the raven-haired boy and gripped his silky soft hair that he once caressed admiringly, now gripped with anger and disgust. Levi feature contorts into pain, he shakily held onto Eren's hands, pleadingly desperately to be released.  Levi's was stripped down, wearing only his pants his toned and pale skin that was riddled with bruises and cuts. 

 _"Levi you're disgusting... I saw you talk to Erwin today, I bet you were sucking his dick when I wasn't looking you whore!"_ Eren roared with pure hate. 

 _"N-No.. I only look at you..."_ Tears fell down Levi's cheeks. 

_"You're a liar, you've always lied to me. Stay away from him, do you hear me?!"_

_"Y-yes of course Eren..."_

Eren let go of Levi's hair roughly, leaving Levi bruised and panting on the dirty floor. He turned to leave only to be stopped because Levi gripped his sleeve, he frowned and bore his eyes at his lover only to be met with a sweet smile, eyes full of fondness and want. This made him yank his arm back in disgust breaking the contact. 

 _"Don't touch me, you're so vile"_ Eren scoffed distastefully, as he left Levi hurt in his room. 

It's been a year since Armin's death, he went out frequently to drink his sorrows away, he drifted away from his friends even from his other best friend Mikasa. He knew that they were worried about him, he knew that Levi's bruises became more and more apparent, so be it, he didn't care. At school he could feel Erwin's and Hanji's glare, perhaps they had a inkling of what was happening behind the scenes, seen as a perfect couple which was holding underlying darkness. He knew that Levi hasn't said anything, the raven kept his mouth shut no matter what Eren did to him.

That's what disgusted him the most. 

* * *

It was a school day and Mikasa sat on a lunch table with her friends Jean, Sasha, Connie, and Marco. Today like always, Eren was no where to be seen. Sometimes she would catch him attending classes, or never show up at all. 

 _"Hey Mikasa, it seems that suicidal bastard isn't here again"_ Jean said nonchalantly, Mikasa could only nod. It was always like this and they weren't surprised anymore. 

 _"Shh don't say that Jean, he could very well be suicidal!"_ Connie reprimanded. 

_"Well he just has to move on, I miss Armin too but we've got to smile for his sake"_

_"Not everyone is like you, Jean"_ Marco chimed in softly and Sasha nodded in agreement as she aggressively scarf down her lunch.

_"Ahh speak of the devil"_

The five turn to see Eren, which was a rare sight. Levi clung to Eren's arms as he always does, with a smile he greets Erwin and Hanji who ran up to them. Mikasa eyes didn't leave Eren, his eyes was just as soulless as it was on the day of Armin's death. The brunet wore his uniform loosely, bags under his eyes which made him look more older than he actually was, his brown chocolate hair slicked back. Eren looked downright depressed contrast to Levi who dressed properly, his grey-blue eyes had it's usual gleam and light. Mikasa squint her eyes as she notice a purple mark behind Levi's white shirt collar, a band aid on his cheek and perhaps the raven-haired boy injured his leg because he moved very slowly. This sent the bells ringing, the purple mark was no hickey it was a big bruise. She eyed Eren sternly, it seems her friends weren't on the same page. 

 _"Oh look, if it isn't the perfect couple making their appearance!"_ Jean drawled. In response to that Levi blushed, and Eren stared at Jean as if there was a wall behind him. 

_"Geez Eren, brighten up you have the best boyfriend right next to you!"_

_"Is that what you think..."_ Eren said with a straight face. 

Connie blinked twice at Eren's unexpected response and gulped. 

Levi frowned, and pulled the brunet's cheek _"Stop joking around brat!"_ He tiptoed to give him a quick peck on the cheek _"I'm going to Erwin and Hanji, I'll see you soon,"_ just like that he left, leaving Eren with us. There was this uncomfortable silence, until Eren turned around to leave.

_"Oi Jaeger, don't walk off!"_

_"E-Eren where are you going?!"_

The brunet never looked back and continued to walk away, Jean and Connie sighed in frustration. Shaking it off and turning back to Sasha, Mikasa and Marco. Mikasa didn't notice that she was gripping her red scarf so tightly. 

 _"I'm going after him..."_ Mikasa said softly. 

 _"Eh, forget about him"_ Jean rolled his eyes, he was pretty much done with Eren at this point. His words didn't dissipate the urge to run after the very broken Eren. And no matter how much she didn't want to believe it but, Eren's temper and broken behavior has lead him to do something unspeakable. Dare she say that perhaps her smiling and determined childhood friend would abuse the love of his life. Eren was the first to approach Levi, who in turn dismissed him like he was some brat. But when they finally got together, they were the sweetest couple she'd ever seen. She was convinced that those two will grow old together and still love each other. But she was wrong, not after Armin's death.

 _"Jean, his my best friend I'm going after him"_ She ran after Eren who disappeared from view. If she was right, as his best friend she would have to stop him, if he was a monster Mikasa would do anything to make him revert back to his happy and stubborn self. It felt like she ran for hours, she turned the corner and found Eren sitting on a bench in an quiet, isolated spot under a shade of trees. He looked up into the sky as if deep in thought.

She stepped quietly to enter Eren's space. She sat next to him, and he continued to stare right in front of him like she didn't exist.

_"Eren..."_

_"Hey, Eren?"_ She repeated, she was met with silence unsurprisingly. Finally after sometime Eren turned to face Mikasa and gave her a weak smile, it was like he mustered all the strength he could just to smile. Her heart hurt for her best friend, seeing him so broken made her want to cry but she couldn't, not until she hears the truth from the brunet. That she could be reassured that he wasn't doing something as horrible as abusing his boyfriend.

_"You haven't been hanging around with us lately..."_

_"Is that so... I'm sorry"_ He finally said in a quiet mumble.

_"No... I understand, I too can't believe that Armin isn't with us no more... It was always the three of us..."_

_"Yeah..."_

_"Eren"_ Mikasa took a deep breath _"Lately you've been acting odd lately, but I have noticed the bruises that appear on Levi's skin... I'm just wondering.."_

 _"That I abuse him?"_ He said with no emotion, it made her skin crawl, was this really the same person that would laugh and joke around. He was always the brightest out of the three of us. 

 _"Y-yeah..."_ Mikasa swallowed. 

 _"Yeah, I guess I was rough with him"_ He admitted without hesitation, she can feel her eyes widen. Her blood ran cold, the signs were there... but she hoped, hoped desperately that she was overthinking too much and that she was wrong.

Mikasa wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt!

But without thinking she slapped him across the face, she felt the anger boil up in her like a wave. She was angry, scared, sad and very disappointed. Eren cupped his face but his facial expression remained the same mask of impassiveness. 

 _"E-Eren you monster, how could you abuse Levi!?"_ Mikasa was stood up and yelling at the brunet, full of anger. And continued with _"He was always there for you, he comforted you, he loves you even now and you took his kindness for granted!"_

Eren watched her expression closely, apart of him was thinking. 

_"I know losing Armin was tough, I knew that all to well but don't you think it's unfair to unleash your anger on Levi who did nothing but love you!"_

There was a minute of silence. Mikasa was panting, out breath from her outburst. She was pissed and disappointed in Eren who drifted away from her and used Levi as a stress reliever. Until finally Eren decided to speak up. 

 _"I am a monster aren't I?"_ Eren raked his hand through his brown hair, _"Then how about the one staying with the monster?"_

Mikasa didn't know what to say to that. Of course she was wondering why on earth Levi would still stay by Eren's side despite the abuse he was receiving. 

_"Mikasa do you know how Armin was pushed off the stairs?"_

Mikasa blinked, she wasn't expecting a question from the brunet _"Eh... um he lost his footing and his head hit the edge of the stairs causing immediate death..."_ Knowing that she said it out loud the reason felt pathetic, on that day they were at Armin's house to celebrate his birthday. Jean, Connie, Sasha, Marco, Eren, Mikasa, even Erwin, Hanji and Levi were invited. Eren who was concern by the birthday boy's absence, went to check on him and had found Armin, on the cold, hard floor all alone.

She heard Eren breathe out a dark chuckle. It made her shiver.

 _"I caught Levi smiling eerily, it was brief but I couldn't stop thinking about it..."_ Eren never broke eye contact with Mikasa, for the first time after Armin's tragedy Eren looked determined. So Mikasa kept quiet and tried to soak in his words. _"After that day, he became more possessive and protective, he hated it when I hanged around you guys.."_ Mikasa eyes widen, she never heard of Levi being that way.

_"Saying things like, he'll look after me... all I need is him and that I was his. I caught him looking at you with dark eyes, that I've never seen before. It frightened me to the core, so I drifted away from you guys. Then I realized that perhaps Armin didn't simply lose his footing... he was pushed... by the person I loved so much"_

_"Eren.. what are you talking about? Levi wouldn't..."_ Mikasa murmured quietly, she had a hard time taking in his words.

 _"One day I confronted him..."_ Eren started with a solemn look on his face.

_Flash back~_

_"Levi, we need to talk."_ He needed to do this, he felt guilty for accusing his lover like this. Levi became far too needy and his jealousy was increasing day by day, the murderous look he would give Mikasa when Eren tried to comfort her by hugging her. He never felt so suffocated, and trapped. Levi who he thought was an angel, was slowly showing his true colors bit by bit. 

Levi gave Eren a half-smile _"What is it Eren?"_ It was now or never.

 _"Levi, did you push Armin off the stairs?"_ It was blunt, but it conveyed all he wanted to ask. Levi's eyes widen in shock, his hands were trembling. He was hurt by Eren's words, _"W-What are you talking about Eren, I would never... Is this some kind of joke?"_ Eren didn't waver, he knew there was something wrong with Levi and he'll force the truth out of him. 

_"Don't lie to me, you were glad that Armin was gone. And you've become quite insufferable lately, you're possessiveness and clingy behavior became far too much!"_

_"Eren... It was because you were pained by the loss of your best friend, I had to be there for you no matter what. I'm the only one you can rely on, I'm the only that can make you feel better, you only need me"_ Levi said softly.

Eren frowned _"and so you got rid of Armin, so I can rely on you"_

 _"Eren don't twist my words, lets just go to sleep"_ Levi reached out to caress Eren's arm to calm him down. But Eren was stubborn, his instincts were telling him not to let Levi get away with it. He grabbed Levi's shoulder roughly, and pinned him to the wall. 

 _"Tell me the truth Levi, you can't lie to me!"_ Eren growled. Then Levi became silent, he had his eyes cast down, his black fringe covered his face. Eren uncomfortably let go of the raven's shoulders and took a step back to see Levi's body trembling. Then surprisingly Levi started chuckling very quietly, he raised his hand to his face and his lover's laughter became even more hysterical. Eren watched his boyfriend in horror. 

 _"Hah... Yes you're right I did push Armin off the stairs!"_ Levi said with a smile on his face, Eren felt his blood boiling, so he really was the cause of this!? Levi was the one who killed Armin and pretended to care. He held and comforted Eren with those hands of his. Eren wanted cry, he felt angry and betrayed from the person he wanted to spend his life with. Levi then continued _"You don't need such worthless friends, Eren you are mine and mine only, why can't you understand that?"_

 _"You... mother-"_ Eren was interrupted by Levi's finger to his lips. 

_"Now, now that's not something you should say to your lover. You love me and I love you, so let go to bed okay?"_

Eren grit his teeth and smacked Levi's hand away from him, this wasn't his boyfriend, he refused to believe that. The Levi in front on him wasn't the same person who he first met, he was more... crap he was starting to forget. Levi frowned at his insolent boyfriend's actions, he glared darkly to show that he wasn't appreciating his behavior. Finally he let out a deep sigh and his facial expression didn't bother to hide his distaste.

_"Eren. You made me do this.."_

_"What?!"_ Eren screamed and grasp Levi's shirt tightly. He looked at Levi, trying to find some kind of humane emotions in his cold grey eyes of his. Finding nothing, he let go of his shirt. 

 _"I'm done with you Levi, I'm leaving..."_ This made Levi panic, Eren ignored the fear and despair that flashed in his soon to be ex boyfriend's eyes. He seized Eren's arm to stop him from leaving, desperately pleading the brunet not to go. Eren tried to get Levi to let go of him, but the raven would not budge. 

 _"Please don't leave, I'm sorry I was wrong... I don't want to be alone!"_ Levi cried and clung on like he his life depended on it. Eren couldn't believe it, Levi killed his best friend the person who he and Mikasa grew up with and expected to be forgiven?! Eren used his strength to finally push Levi off on him, he fell back into the wall with a thud.

 _"I don't care Levi, you're disgusting"_ Eren stated coldly. 

Something must've have clicked in Levi's mind when he started smiling, it was terrifying and crooked. _"Eren I didn't want it to be this way... but you left me no choice..."_

_"If you leave me, I'll get rid of all of your friends especially that bitch Mikasa"_

_"I'll call the cops!"_ Eren scowled. 

 _"Oh, and who would believe you? You wouldn't know when I'll get my hands on them and you don't have any evidence"_ Levi was smiling now, and ignored the increasing anger rising from his beloved boyfriend. He would never let Eren leave him, he loved the brat to much to ever let him go. Even if he has to threaten him. 

 _"Mikasa would meet a more horrible end than Armin, I'll cut her up and mutilate her!"_  

Eren couldn't hear anymore, he punched Levi in the face. Who hit the ground, and crawled on top of him to straddle him... His heart beating in adrenaline, punching his beautiful face repeatedly. Until Levi's face was bruised, his nose was bleeding profusely.

Despite this Levi gave Eren a broken smile.  _"You can hit me however you like, you can't escape me. I'll always love you and you'll always love me!"_ Those words were always said by the raven-haired boy lovingly. But now it feels like a poison vine used to wrap around and chain Eren to Levi. 

Forever...

_Flash back end~_

Mikasa couldn't believe what she was hearing from Eren's mouth, she wasn't ready for it at all. Levi was the one who pushed Armin down the stairs, and he wanted to kill her and the others... He black-mailed Eren to stay with him out of desperation. She felt sick to her stomach, she wanted to cry and she never made Levi out to be that kind of person. There was a chance that Eren could be lying, judging how broken he is and even so it wasn't enough to justify his abuse. 

_"He... may have caused Armin's death but doesn't mean you should  abuse him. You''re just as bad as him!"_

_"I know that... I know that all to well, you think I enjoy hitting Levi, do you think it makes me feel good to hit someone I loved?"_ Eren looked down and clenched his fist tightly _"Levi's like a leech I can't get rid off, he sucks the life out of me and I abuse him to make him hate me and despise me, so he can leave on his own accord. But none of that seems to work, he'll give me his usual smile, the sweet gaze that never falters... Don't get me wrong, making him hate me by hitting him isn't the only reason. I do it to control him, to make him only look at me.... isolating him and restricting Levi would prevent him from thinking about anything else"_

Mikasa can see Eren gaze into her eyes with determination, he softly held her hand _"Mikasa, I'll protect you and the others. I will not give him a chance to look your way... I'll become an existence he can't look away from, so please... do me a favor and never again approach me"_

_"E-Eren... it doesn't have to be this way, we can do something about this!"_

Eren shook his head slowly _"Levi's incredibly smart, I've lost Armin but I won't lose you... I'll become the monster he wants me to be"_

 _"N-No Eren, please let me help you..."_ Mikasa pleaded, tears fell down her cheeks, she doesn't approve of Eren's actions but she knew that he was trying to protect her. Even if it was as messed up as abusing Levi to keep him in his place. Eren would isolate himself, and make Levi focus only on him and no one else. She wanted to hug him and hold him so they can both cry their tears out, she hated Levi how he caused Armin's death and threaten Eren to stay with him. 

 _"Mikasa please leave"_ Eren said, a sense of panic in his voice. 

_"W-Why?"_

_"GO NOW!"_ He snapped. Before Mikasa could listen to him, she heard a deep and familiar voice behind her that made her shiver in fright. 

 _"Oh? Mikasa you're here?"_ Levi's said with a smile on his face, she couldn't help but stare straight in his grey-blue eyes. His smile didn't reach his eyes, she never noticed it till now but she can now see the underlying murderous aura and darkness radiating from those eyes of his. It made her swallow the lump in her throat. Perhaps Eren wasn't lying, that Levi really did have plans to get rid of her and the others. Eren looked on impassively, he then stood up and walked over to Levi.

He seized the raven's arms roughly. Levi smiled sweetly and linked his arm with Eren's, kissing his boyfriend on the lips before Eren glared at him and dragged Levi away without a word. In retrospect Levi and Eren would look like a wonderful couple. The sweet and loving Levi, serious and silent Eren that secretly loves Levi with all his heart. When they were out of view and away from Mikasa. Levi flashed Eren a disapproving look. 

_"Why were you with Mikasa, Eren?"_

_"Tch"_ Eren clicked his tongue with a scowl  _"What's it to you, weren't you with Erwin and Hanji?!"_

 _"They are my friends Eren..."_ Levi frowned. 

_"Haha that's funny, because Mikasa's my best friend, and you killed my other best friend"_

_"They are not best friend's Eren, they want you, they want to take you away from me"_ Levi answered very calmly. Eren couldn't believe what he was hearing, not only is Levi possessive he is also delusional. Eren grit his teeth and pinned Levi to the school building's wall, for a while he was alone because of this bastard. Talking with Mikasa had lifted the burden from his shoulder, although he knew it was still there. He'll never forgive Levi for as long as he lived, he knew exactly how to break his murderer of a lover. 

 _"Hey Levi who exactly are you, where did the Levi that I once loved go?"_ Eren asked softly. Which slightly shocked Levi as it took a while for him to answer.

_"I'm still the same as always Eren"_

_"I don't believe that, I see nothing when I look at you"_ This made Levi flinch and Eren pushed further _"Hey who are you?"_

_"L-Levi... A-Ackerman"_

_"Hmm, I never heard of such a name"_ Eren stared at Levi without any emotions, he could already see Levi trembling. It became apparent that Levi had abandonment issues, he would panic and become hysterical if someone were to leave him, in this case if Eren leaves, his facade would immediately crumble, he'll get on his knees and beg pathetically. Levi loves the attention, he doesn't like being ignored and he would do anything to be noticed. Perhaps Levi just didn't want to be forgotten. 

_"It's so strange... you killed Armin so you can have me to yourself, yet even through death, I still couldn't help but think of him..."  Eren closed his eyes breifly as if he was recollecting something "His dead and now he is all I can think about"_

_"Eren, I don't want to hear this!"_ Levi snapped, his fist clenching.

_"You think I care?"_

_"Why is it that you're right in front of me, but I still want Armin more. I can touch you and caress you"_ Eren says this as he caresses Levi's cheek _"Yet I still don't want you."_ This struck a core with Levi as tears ran down his cheeks, his eyes stare pleadingly at Eren.

_"E-Eren... Don't lie...I-I'm right here...."_

Eren glanced down at Levi with cold eyes however his mouth lifts up into a smirk _"You know the times, I kissed you, hugged you, said I loved you... Didn't you know? That when I was making love to you..."_ Eren smiled even more and leaned down to Levi's ear and whispered _"I was thinking about Armin"_

 _"YOU FUCKIN-"_ Before Levi could explode on him, Eren walked away. Leaving a very broken and furious Levi, was he guilty? A little. Did he regret it? No.

If he thinks he could tame Eren, he was wrong. Oh so very wrong.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks go by, Eren's and Levi's relationship remained tense and abusive. Levi didn't care, as long as Eren looked at him, it was more than enough. Soon his beloved will realize  who has been by his side all along and would not attempt to leave him. He knew that Eren was incredibly stubborn, that was established when he would constantly reject every time the persistent brunet tried to confess or flirt with him. He could just remember the loneliness he felt as a child. 

He recalled watching his mother Kuchel look out the window with empty pupils, unresponsive to rest of the world. Levi could only watch her from behind her bedroom door. The moment he was born, his own mother hated the sight of him. She was a prostitute, and he was the product of the man who raped her and cut her Achilles tendon, losing her ability to walk. She couldn't remember his name but hated that man with a passion. Unfortunately she directed that hatred to his son Levi. Kuchel wouldn't touch the boy or attempt to hurt him, she treated him like he didn't exist. Kenny, her brother would come by now and then to look after her and Levi. 

He couldn't understand he was only five, he longed to be touched and held in his mother's arms. But Kuchel would ignore him and the only time she would glance at the boy with eyes that are cold like ice, holding underlying disgust. He didn't know what it was like to have a mother's love, Kenny would only talk to him briefly and disappear the next day. He was alone, freezing and unloved, it made him cry but no one would care. He was invisible an existence that wasn't supposed to be born, he gradually started to believe that. Asking question such as...

Why won't she look at me?

Am I not good enough?

What have I done to deserve this!?

One day, he became curious and crept up to his mother's room. He wondered if she was eating well? Has she been sleeping well? He slowly opened the door quietly, making a small gap big enough to peek through. But what he was met with, was not his mother staring out the window like she always has but all he could hear was the creaking noise, a familiar figure sway slowly from side to side in front of him, a rope connected to the ceiling, the chair lay flat on the wooden floor. His eyes widen and opened the door fully, his dear mother was dangling lifelessly with a noose around her neck. She committed suicide and left him all alone. 

He screamed and tears welled up in his grey-blue eyes, he still didn't understand her actions. He stood up the chair so he was able to reach the rope with knife he found in the kitchen drawer. He was able to cut the rope, Levi tried to catch her but his frail and skinny arms weren't enough to catch her and withstand her weight. Kuchel's corpse, fell on top of him, he was trapped under her stiff and cold body. He couldn't leave, his mother didn't allow him. The tears that he tried desperately to keep in spilled out, he held onto his mother and cried his heart out. All he could think is that he was finally holding his mother, but even so, in death she still didn't see him and her touch was so cold it wasn't meant to be for him. Then he heard loud footsteps, Kenny heard Levi's wrenching cries and when he enters his sister's room he was met with a disturbing sight. Kuchel's rigid body lay still, crushing his nephew who was crying and struggling to breathe. Kenny pushed Kuchel off of Levi, and the kid panted heavily and never stopped wailing for his mother who never noticed him. 

Kenny then took on the responsibility of looking after Levi taking the boy with him. 

* * *

Years go by, Levi was older and attended school. He sat at the far back of his class, and kept to himself. Anyone who would approach him, he would glare at them mercilessly and drive them away with his snarky and sarcastic insults. But there was one person who didn't know when to give up, was an annoying girl was called Hanji Zoe she is a brunette wearing glasses, every chance she would greet him and pester him every break. He hated her but their was a slight tugging at his heart, a part of him like the attention she was giving him no matter how much he would growl and snap at her. Soon it became a daily occurrence that Hanji would be sitting with him at lunch break on the school roof. Then gradually Erwin Smith tagged along, blond hair, blue eyes and disgustingly tall. Levi didn't appreciate Erwin's presence but with enough time, soon Hanji and Erwin became his best and only friends in his whole life. 

Hanji and Erwin were already chatting to themselves on the school's roof, they were sitting on the dirty floor which slightly disgust him. They caught him approaching and Hanji gave an enthusiastic wave and Erwin simply smiled. 

 _"There you are Levi!"_ Hanji gestured Levi to sit next to her. 

 _"Shut up, shitty glasses"_ Levi decided to stand, he was not going to touch the germ infested concrete.

Erwin chuckled lightly, and bit into his sandwich. After swallowing he decided to ask the raven a question _"Valentine's Day is coming, Levi do you want to see who gets the most chocolates?"_ Levi couldn't help but roll his eyes at Erwin's joke. He was surprisingly popular among girls and boys, to them he was mysterious and intriguing. Levi was also very handsome and beautiful, his standoff attitude made them want to approach him and make him theirs. 

 _"Oo I'm curious too, the kind and dashing prince Erwin or the cold and handsome midget Levi!"_ Hanji shouted excitedly. 

Erwin scratched his neck bashfully at what he was called and Levi only rolled his eyes in stoically . 

_"I don't give a shit about receiving chocolates, think about what those assholes put in it!"_

_"You're such a clean freak"_

_"Say what you want, but I will throw them in the bin if I receive one!"_

_"That's a shame, you should give the chocolates to me"_ Hanji laughed, Levi shook his head slowly, he was already getting a headache. Then suddenly the exit door opened, a young boy probably a year younger had entered. Levi felt his breath hitched, he had never seen someone so hot. He had chocolate, brown hair, his eyes were a bright and vibrant green. It reminded Levi of the Caribbean ocean, the brunet was actually has sun-kissed skin which made him look quite exotic and was toned in muscle. He didn't realized he was staring until the handsome brunet made eye contact with him and flashed him a charming wink. He felt his stomach churn, he felt his body increase in temperature. He broke out of his daze, heat slightly tinted his cheeks but he manage to scoff irritably and look away. 

The brunet raised his brow inquisitively, but turned his attention to Hanji. He took out papers from his backpack and approached the four eyes.

_"Hey Hanji, I have the research papers for the project"_

Oh god Levi couldn't believe how nice the brunet sounded when speaking, his voice was a little deep but to him it was like pure sex. Okay maybe he was exaggerating but he should really start calming down. 

 _"AHH Eren you are the best! Thank you so much this will help a lot!"_ Hanji squealed in delight, and gave the brunet a bone crushing hug. He chuckled lightly, and patted her back softly. Hanji let go of the boy and gestured to Erwin and Levi. 

 _"Eren, the Tall Blondie is Erwin and Mr grump is Levi"_ She introduced, Erwin took up to shake hands with him but Levi flashed a irritated glare at the glasses brunette who decided it was a good idea to sneak a jab at him. So that was his name... Eren, he liked how it sounded, it suited the brat. Levi found Eren looking at him expectantly, this made him his heart beat quicken. Eren held out his arm for a handshake, Levi glared down at it like it was covered in germs. But that was not what he was thinking at all, he wanted to touch many other places than just his hand. Levi reluctantly shook the brat's hands, it sent a spark of electricity to his heart. Just by feeling Eren's warmth was enough to make him feel like this, with a brief shake and feeling the disappointment when Eren finally let go of his hand which now felt a little lonely. He gave Levi a warm smile.

 _"It's nice to meet you, Levi"_ The raven would visibly melt if he could, he never thought he'll loved to have his name called out by someone such as Eren. But during the whole exchanged Levi's expression remained impassive and void of no emotions. This will discourage anyone, but Eren still held his usual gleam and smiled brightly. Levi looked to the side to see Hanji and Erwin looking at him with a smug expression on their faces. He growled at them and decided to dismiss them. After Eren left the premises, Hanji and Erwin hounded on him like dogs, for some reason they know when he had a certain interest in someone, which was thought to be impossible since Levi has a brilliant poker face. 

Levi would only be able to see Eren at school with his friends Armin and Mikasa, they were always together and no, Hanji told him their names. Whenever, he would pass by them, Eren would greet him or start up a small conversation. Levi didn't realized how much he love those small interactions, but every single time he remained indifferent and would sometimes ignore Eren contradicting how he actually feels. Hanji and Erwin try their best to get Levi to be alone with Eren, but the raven somehow is the first to leave. Levi caught Armin and Mikasa trying to push Eren, to talk to him, that's how he knew that Eren was actually interested in him. Levi felt his lips twitch into a half smile the brat was too cute. 

Levi rejected most of Eren's confessions, sure he was interested but he had a hard time trusting people. Would Eren, love him forever? Would he be able to commit himself to Levi? Because of his past, he was scared of getting close with anyone knowing that maybe they'll abandon him. Levi can remember how the first time Eren confessed, how his face dropped when Levi's answer was no. The raven watched Eren leaved with a hurt and disappointed expression, for some reason it made his heart hurt just as bad. No matter how much he wanted to accept his confession, Levi was far too insecure and scared to enter an relationship. However despite the rejection he found the teens persistence endearing, when Levi thought the brunet had given up. Eren came back to school, he could see the fire in his bright green eyes when he looked at Levi, full of determination. 

Eren continued to try wining his affections and kept confessing at any chance he would get. And to be honest Levi was loving the attention, he loved how Eren wouldn't stop chasing after him, how he never gets discouraged by Levi's snarky comments, he loved how Eren never looked at anyone else but him. Frankly he adored playing hard to get, the raven-haired teen knew he was already deeply in love with Eren but couldn't help continue to tease the poor brunet. 

It was Valentine's Day which is why he found Eren standing in front of him, fidgeting and holding something behind him. 

 _"Ah.. Levi, I finally caught you..."_ He panted, it seems that Eren ran around the school to find him. How sweet. The brunet coughed into his clenched fist, gathering his courage. Levi raised his brow inquisitively and waited patiently. Eren closed his eyes tightly, and just like that he held out a bouquet of red roses. 

_"Happy Valentine's Day Levi, will you go out with me?"_

Eren kept his eyes closed until he heard a reply from the raven _"Alright."_ His eyes immediately blinked open, confusion plastered on his face. 

_"W-What?"_

_"What do you mean Eren, I don't like repeating myself, I accept."_ Levi smirked playfully, the brunet still looked quite dumbfounded by Levi's answer, like he wasn't expected it. Though Levi couldn't blame Eren, for reacting this way. _"You're the one who confessed to me, so why are you confused?"_

 _"Well, honestly I was expecting you to reject me like always"_ Eren let out a light laugh and scratched his neck awkwardly. Levi's smirk widen, he then shocked Eren by grabbing his collar, pulling him down and giving the man of his dreams the deepest and longest kiss he could manage. He moaned into the kiss, when he felt his tongue intertwined with Eren's. Levi held himself back, because of his insecurities; he had always wanted to crash his lips against Eren's and he wasn't disappointed, Eren tasted intoxicating. And he was sure that Eren was enjoying it just as much as he had and just as drunk, since he took charge of the kiss, which made Levi melt in happiness. 

Finally they broke the kiss, both flushed red, panting and out of breath.

 _"Woah.."_ Eren managed to breath out, in his sexy, husky voice of his. Levi chuckled in return as they held each other, still looking into their eyes of satisfaction and love. Levi caressed his now-boyfriend cheek, and tiptoed to kiss it softly. 

 _"I love you Eren, I've always have, the moment I laid eyes on you..."_ Levi said with a sincere smile. 

Eren's eyes widen the second time today _"Levi... then why?"_

 _"Sorry, I was teasing you"_ He replied with a playful grin, with a voice that was low and suggestive Levi purred _"I love it when you want me"_

 _"Ah, you little"_ Eren pouted, but his lips upturn into a smirk. He wrapped his arms around Levi lovingly and kissed his forehead softly, in response Levi would close his eyes upon the contact as the brunet showered many kisses on the raven's face. Levi sighed contently, he was waiting for this. This is probably now the best day in his whole entire life. 

_"Levi, I love you forever and always..."_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Phew hope you guys enjoyed this sick love story! :D


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